Disclaimer: (this post is meant for only liberal individuals who could understand things, with positive frame of mind. If you are under 18 or if you have any issue with adult content, please refrain from reading this post)
All views, information mentioned herein is collected from different sources and individuals, nothing is made up. Biggest taboo of our cultural system is under discussion. Though all of us today, use I-phone, and I-pad & we consider ourselves entangled in information battle zone. But we still cannot talk openly about sex related real life issues. It is observed that some people, even with their spouses they don’t talk about intimate things, which is sad and it ultimately causes problems in their relationships (married couples). Some feel having sex (while being married) is also a taboo, it should not be discussed. Some feel it is meant for reproduction only, there shouldn’t be an element of spice in it. I think otherwise, sex is something which is very important, it should be talked about and each other’s wishes/needs should be discussed & hence catered upon. In Pakistan we do not have sex therapist, or sex counselors or people who could provide appropriate information and guidance. This is ironic but unfortunately true, men take sex as what they had seen in x-rated movies, and women take sex as what their married friends had told them. No educational material is provided or is readily available. I had been researching on this very phenomena as how and why it benefits and effects our lives and I have come up with very interesting conclusions, which I am sharing today.
Phenomena, under discussion is “Orgasm”, “THE [O] FACTOR” now for so many people, there will be a big question mark, (and so many people might be in, “awhh”) as why to even talk about such a thing, which should be kept secret as it is a personal matter, indeed it is a very personal matter butwe should all know why it is important and what are the benefits it has on a human beings. I remember when I had written about the “Art of Kissing” some people made issue out of it as why it is being discussed and I was shocked at their response. That is why I say, if you don’t like such things, please don’t read it. Before I go on the subject, let’s have a clear understanding of this word.
As per Wikipedia:Orgasm means Sexual climax: is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by an intense sensation of pleasure. Experienced by males and females, orgasms are controlled by the involuntary or autonomic nervous system. They are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation and, frequently, body movements and vocalizations are expressed. The period after orgasm (known as a refractory period) is often a relaxing experience, attributed to the release of the neurohormones oxytocin and prolactin.
It has been noticed that partners don’t even care about each other’s pleasures or satisfaction, i.e, orgasms. Generally males are more worried about their ownsatisfaction and they are least bothered as “how to please their women”. Men simply like to bang. Whereas women are in some cases so naïve or act naïve due to inhibitions that they do not express or explain. Generally people are not ready of experimentation, exploring or learning things. Many women/men feel as though they’ve somehow failed as a sexual partner if they don’t want to just “jump into intercourse” every night. Often time’s men or women (thinking that their partner’s sexual needs and desires match their own) feel as though their partnersaren’t interested in them if they don’t immediately want to have sex.Understanding the fundamental, hormonal difference between the sexes/individuals,and communicating your desires, can lead to a wonderful sex life. Many of the differences between male and female desire and arousal can be traced to thebrain, the most powerful sex organ we have. For men, the hormones testosteroneand arginine vasopressin (AVP) encourage sexual desire before sex to ahigher degree than they do in women, who have fewer AVP receptors in the brain. It takes time for women’s hormone levels to rise before they become aroused.But after orgasm, our hormones function differently too. In our culture why is it that whoever breaks the ice is considered a badsoul? Or the deed is considered as bad Karma? Just because it is a sensitive issue and considered as a taboo, no one openly discusses their sex lives, theyfeel whatever they have or whatever they do is the best and maybe that is howit is done, nothing beyond this. Have we ever realized as why so many people commit adultery? Maybe they are not satisfied with their partners or their behaviors. There are no course book available or standardized procedures.
Women in our society married with Bahist-e-Zewar, kind of information and their minds are shut in such manner that they don’t believe in certain so many things. Men in their egoism, consider it below their integrity to ask for advice or attainsome education. Sexual compatibility is as important as mental or emotional compatibility. Effective communication, discussion, sharing is also veryimportant to learn about each other’s sexual requirements. For me sex is a forman Art which should be performed not done. It should be considered as a ritualwith celebration, not a chore for a formality. Healthy sexual life gives positive bonding, sharing, and loving each other. Unhealthy sex life leads toso many mishaps, for example, frustration, fights, miss understanding and couldbe the cause of extra marital affair. Good Sex is as important as better dietor better physical health. Most people don’t know why having frequent Orgasms could lead to so many better things and not having Orgasms could create so many physiological and mental issues. Have you ever felt feeling down? Depressed? Low energy? Maybe you have a cold coming on? Find yourself irritable and flexing your road rage muscle? Not quite yourself lately? Want to revive your marriage? Finish that proposal you’ve been working on? Have an [O] It’s free. It’s fun. It’s healthy. It restores you to your true self. You can carry it around with you wherever you go. Unless, of course, you like an accessory for that sort of thing. The magic bullet of orgasm is a multi-dimensional panacea that revives and uplifts every part of your life. Yes, healthy Orgasm or good sex shows from your face, exactly in a manner, if you are constipated or depressed, it shows from your face. And if you have good orgasms, your face shows, you glow. We see lots of married ladies getting fat from bottom; one of the reasons that they are bloated because of caging of their orgasms in their system. They don’t know about it, they never discovered their own orgasm because they had no clue andeven their partner is unaware about it, he probably gets off and thinks it’sdone, that’s it. This is not how it should be. Everyone should work upon each other OQ (Orgasm Quotient) and try to enhance it in all possible ways.
Five thousand years ago, in ancient Taoist China, when you went to see your physician, you would receive a prescription based on your condition. Let’s say, as a woman, your kidneys were deficient. You’d be given an acupuncture treatment, a pot of herbs to cook up, and you’d be told to go home and have sex three times a day, in reverse cowgirl position, for 30 days. That particular angle (exposing the kidneys) would direct healing sexual chi to the area. You should know that having regular orgasms is great for your relationship (not to mention your partner's ego!).
It's also a fun, free and, well, satisfying form of entertainment and it can even burn calories and reduce stress. People not having, good sex and appropriate orgasms,are found to be more edgy, frustrated, depressed, and stressed out. Having achieved good orgasms, leads to sense of achievement, fulfillment and contentment for each other and for partners as well. I’m a firm believer of sexual medicine. In fact, I’d call it the miracle cure. In my opinion as an intimacy coach, I always tell people for orgasm therapy or to have a healthy sex life. In fact, I suggest making it a daily supplement with the knowledge of how incredibly healthy and balanced you are making yourself. Orgasm also referred as “O” factor or “Oing” and I have given it a new dimension of OQ, as in Orgasm Quotient. It used to be said an Apple or “A” a day, keeps doctor away, I say it, An “O” a day, keeps doctor away. According to JAMA (the Journal of the American Medical Association), 43 percent of American women suffer from some form of "Female Sexual Dysfunction"--often placing the blame on themselves or their partners for their inability to reach orgasm.(Unfortunately in Pakistan we don’t have any such stats): So stop blamingyourself or others for not been able to achieve an Orgasm, please consult your therapist. I am sure most of you by now, probably cursing me, judging me and thinking things about me, that I am perverted and all that, think whatever, but this is all true, I am being bold enough to share because I truly care. Here are Very Important Reasons to Enhance your Orgasm Quotient-OQ:
1. Orgasm is a Powerful Stress-Reliever:
You release loads of oxytocin at climax, which makes you feel sociable, content, safe and relaxed. In fact, oxytocin is the natural antidote to stress hormones in the body. Ocytocin also known as feel “good hormone” or “cuddle hormone”. I tell people to use it as pre-public speaking, secret weapon. Seriously, try it out, before any stressful event indulge into it and try to have an orgasm and you will see you are calmer, sweeter and more focused. Orgasms calm your cravings for junk food, and sometimes for cigarettes. Sexual stimulation activates the production of phenetylamine, a kind of natural amphetamine that regulates your appetite. So before you pig out, maybe you should go to your room.
2. Orgasm helps in Reduction of Depression:
Who wouldn’t be happier by having an orgasm a day?Numerous hormones are positively affected by the act of sex and orgasm, which can lead to a more relaxed state. Furthermore, when Prostaglandin, a hormone found only in semen is absorbed in the female genital tract and acts like an antidepressant. In a recent study depressed females reported feeling happier and after being ejaculated in as opposed to those who didn’t have men ejaculate inside of them. Though there are several reasons for the cause of depression and it should be dealt with proper therapy and medication. Sex and orgasm only helps in reduction to some extent but it cannot eliminate depression (so please don’t take me wrong here).
3. Orgasms will Save your Marriage:
What is the main difference between your intimate relationship and all of your other relationships? The fact that you are having sex with that person. Sex is the glue. Prioritize it and give it the attention it deserves. It will give you back everything else that is required. Have it multiple times. Never ever, take sex as a causal thing, or consider it “ghar ki rotti dall barabar”, imagine if you get super sex life at home, there is no way on earth that you would seek it elsewhere. Try to find pleasure centers in each other, you should know each other’s “Erogenous Zones” and yes “G-spot” too. Yes, good Orgasm means full satisfaction, that entails to contentment which is the main pillar that marriage is based, and ultimately it leads to other pillars, like, love, trust and respect. Secret of successful marriage is having good sex and ultimate orgasms.
4. Orgasms Help Prevent Breast Cancer:
Experts agree that there’s growing evidence of wide-ranging health benefits of orgasms, forexample: longevity. One reason for the longevity bonus could be that orgasms have positive effects on various organs and body systems. For instance, says Beverly Whipple, PhD, coauthor of The Orgasm Answer Guide, “Studies are showing that as sexual activity goes up, the risk of breast cancer goes down.” This could be due to the surge of hormones like oxytocin that comes witharousal and orgasm.
5. "O" is an Anti-Aging Factor:
People having more sex knock years off their lifespan. Dr. Oz touts researched & concluded that 200 orgasms a year guideline to remove six physiological years off of your life. Meaning, if we have active sex life it will lead to better life span, and yes it will keep us younger as well. Sex is one of the reason behind it (besides yoga). Dr. Oz had said 200 orgasms in a year will give you six additional years, that means 4 times in a week, so what if I say 5 or 6 times a week, would that mean that am I on my way toimmortality?
6. With Orgasms you’ll unleash your Creative Genius:
Sexual energy is creative energy. Reviving it up is a powerful way to summon the muse. You will see how it works, once you have healthy and powerful orgasms, that how it leads to an awakening of your creative self, for which you or your partner never had any realization. When I say being creative, I don’t mean, pencil or paper, it could be in cooking, dressing up or simply being creative during sex. It has been observed that people are least creative during sexual intercourse which again leads to monotony that could only be broken by being different or creative in bed. It is a human nature that we get bored soon, so in order to keep ourselves indulgedwith each other, least we could do is be creative so that we can have every day as a new beginning or new ending to an old beginning.
7. Orgasms are good for your Heart:
Three or more orgasms a week reduce your risk of heart attack and stroke by half and lower your risk of heart disease and high blood pressure. Your emotional heart will benefit too: Sex strengthens your bond with your partner. The oxytocin released at orgasm promotes bonding, deepening your sense of connection with each other. What's more, studies show that orgasms lower the blood pressure levels, at least among women, as we know that high blood pressure can lead to heart attacks.
8. Orgasms Boosts your Immune System:
Feel a chill or the tickling of a sore throat? Quick run andhave an orgasm! While having an orgasm Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) is released. DHEA helps balance the immune system, improves cognition, promotes bone growth, andmaintains and repairs tissues, keeping your skin healthy and supple. It can mean less frequent colds and flu. A Wilkes University study showed that people having sex onceor twice a week had a 30% increase in immunoglobulin A, which strengthens immunity. Again, it is beneficial to have a better Immune system which shall enable you to keep you happy.
9. "O" Recalibrates you:
This one is my personal favorite. As how recalibration works, we have so many systems working within our body, which are so sensitive and complicated that each system has numerous sub systems, chemicals, organs, nerves, muscles, cells and what not. Exactly when we sleep and wake up we feel rejuvenated, energized, and ready to have another full day of activities. Orgasm, too works in a similar way, it re organizes or refreshes our systems, gives us “a new our self”, calibrated and fresh. It brings you back to yourself. The French term “la petite mort” or “the little death” alludes to the idea of death and rebirth through sexual climax. We all need a place to come undone. When you have this, you return to your daily life feeling rejuvenated and stronger. Another example of re-calibration will be defragmentation, which we normally do to our PC or laptops that is how computer system, reorganizes all folder and files within its system and its performance gets better & faster after the process. Engineers/doctors or people who studied science will easily understand Calibration process, as they are taught to recalibrate almost everything before its use, be it a barometer or microscope. In daily life the way we jerks the thermometer to settle mercury at normal temperature, that is also calibration in generic form. Good OQ frequently recalibrates you.
10. "O" is a Pain Reliever:
Whenever you have a headache, don’t avoid sex. Have it. Orgasmscan work as natural pain management. If you have ever noticed yourselfforgetting about a headache or menstrual cramps while having sex, it is notsimply a psychological phenomenon. Endorphins (natural compounds that are close to morphine) are released by your body during sex, and can increase your tolerance of pain by as much as 70 percent during orgasm. Headaches and menstrual cramps will be greatly reduced. Friends, please don’t make headaches, work, daily life stress, tension, fatigue, migraine or other aches as excuses. You don’t know having an orgasm will eventually benefit you to rid of your ache and stress. Some studies suggest that a good orgasm can more than double a woman's tolerance for pain. Plus, it's an analgesic, not an anesthetic, meaning it suppresses pain.
11. Orgasms helps in achieving good Sleep:
Orgasms help you sleep better. In addition to increasing trust, attachment and bonding, the post "O" hormone oxytocin triggers a cascade of bodily events, including the release of other feel-good hormones called endorphins. These endorphins often have a sedative effect. As many women know, men often fall asleep after sex. There are hormonalreasons why this happens. Men release hormones when they ejaculate, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, and prolactin — the release of prolactin specifically slows their “recovery time.” Conversely, women’s arousal time is slower but recovery is quick, thus making multiple orgasms possible for some women. Soit's no surprise that most you have enjoyed a fabulous night of sleep following some really great sex. While an orgasm is followed in the male by a quick drop in blood pressure and sudden relaxation, the effect on women is more progressive, but no less important. Orgasms act as a natural tranquilizer. That wonderful release of endorphins is very calming.
12. Sexercise/Weight Loss/Keeping yourself in shape:
In quest of higher OQ some serious exercise is required by not only men but also women. Why it is considered that men have to do all the work out, women should also equally participate and work it out. A vigorous sexual intercourse (session) will burn calories. A good sexual intercourse could be a good work out. How much depends on how vigorous it is. Orgasmscan help you stay in shape and lose weight. Getting busy for 30 minutes not onlyheats up your honey, but it also burns calories. In fact, according to someestimates, you can torch up to 200 calories with a hot and heavy half-hoursession concluding it with a big O. Yoga burns approximately 114 calories per half hour, dancing 129, walking at 3mph 153, weight training 153, volleyball 174. The pulse rate, in an aroused person, rises from about 70 beats per minute to 150, which is equivocal to an athlete putting forth maximum effort. Please don’t do it like as if you are half asleep or half dead, participate, work it out, as if you are in a gym or riding a bicycle. Equal contribution, interest and energy should be transferred by both partners. It’s like comparing a gentle Hatha class to a rockin’ Vinyasa flow (Yoga types). Beyond that, sex and orgasm strengthen little-used internal core muscles. Active sex and working towards good orgasm keep you active, gives good exercise and develops better stamina.
13. Orgasms make you Beautiful:
So many people have asked me about this concept, but this is so true and yes, proven. Have you ever heard, our elders saying, “shaadi kay baad uspay roop, ya nikhaar agaya hay”, yes that is what it is. The GLOW: If youare having good orgasms you emit, certain positive energy which makes you more attractive, to the estrogen produced, making hair shiny and skin smooth, well-sexed people radiate a strange glow from their body, hands, hair and face. They give off certain magnetism, “a je ne sais quoi” that is the afterglow of good lovin’. It wears you for days afterwards. So my friends, excuse my French, I didn’t mean to offend anyone, please read this in good spirit, as educational and informative material. Don’t be judgmental towards anything which is discussed above. Please have a healthy life and super relationship with your partner. Shall be writing about another aspect of this subject, how to have and convert your Orgasm into OMGasm.
